Break Your Agreements!
Yep. Just break your agreements. All of them. No, not your agreement to take out the trashcan, clean the house, bring home the paycheck, pick up the kids, or some other agreement you have WITH your spouse. Break your agreements you have ABOUT your spouse. Your agreements are your beliefs you have “agreed” with yourself […]
“I’ll Do Anything” Is a Recipe For Failure
Desperation. It is never a good guide. Desperation leads you down any and every approach. And in the process, you get nowhere. I know, because I have seen it happen. Someone will say to me, “I’ll try anything to save my marriage.” And they try everything. Book after book, resource after resource, and unfortunately, trick […]
Moving From Desperation To Hope
We’ve all felt that feeling of desperation. Everything seems to be closing in. Life seems to be flying along, out of control, dragging you with it. You feel breathless, anxious, out of control, fearful, and desperate. Whenever there is a crisis, desperation tends to be the default setting for humans. It is just the way […]
A New Day a New Beginning
We tend to love the “new.” A new outfit, new car, new year, new whatever. It always feels like a fresh start, full of possibilities. But the newness tends to fade fast. Then, it is just another outfit, just the car you drive, just another year. Take that car, for example. If you are like […]
4 Marriage Crisis Mistakes To Avoid
A marriage crisis doesn’t ever start as a crisis. It may start as a deficit in action or understanding, inattention, neglect, or some small altercation. But it can spread over time, engulfing the entire relationship in crisis. Many times, people tell me, “I should have taken action long ago, but _______.” Fill in the blank […]
The Hurt and Blame Dance
Hurt. Blame. Hurt. Blame. The dance goes round and round, each person dancing the steps. That dance isn’t fun. But it certainly seems to be a popular dance for couples! Every relationship has its unique “dance,” and both people generally stick to the same steps. . . until it doesn’t work anymore. Then, the marriage […]
I’ll Try Anything – The Wrong Plan
Desperation. It is never a good guide. Desperation leads you down any and every approach. And in the process, you get nowhere. I know, because I have seen it happen. Someone will say to me, “I’ll try anything to save my marriage.” And they try everything. Book after book, resource after resource, and unfortunately, trick […]
This Is It, It’s Over
A fight. An affair. An indiscretion. An argument. Some event. Suddenly, someone announces “this is over.” You may point to that event, the moment when things seemed to turn upside down. But that event was just that: an event. It was a “tipping point.” Almost always, there was a long, slow climb to the top […]
Why It Matters – The Importance of Your Efforts To Save Your Marriage
It matters. Your efforts to save your marriage. They matter. Your desire to work things through, to find a better way for your relationship. It matters. When you are in the midst of the struggle, it can feel horrible. You can get frustrated and discouraged, forget the reasons why you are doing it, and be […]
Why Are We Fighting?
Have you found yourself in the middle of an argument, toe-to-toe with your spouse, with that little part of your brain saying, “why am I even arguing over this? It doesn’t matter”? I ask, because I have had that experience MANY times in my life, both with my wife and with others. It is tragic […]