Stop Trying To “Fix” It
When the temptation to “fix” a situation fires up in you, STOP. Most men are hard-wired to react to problems with a solution, but that “solution” is doomed from the start. In this new episode, we talk about difference between “fixers” and true leaders, highlighting why knowing your problems is much more important than “fixing” […]
Eliminating the Power Your Wife Has Over You (Raw)
Like the vast majority of men that are going through a separation or divorce, you feel like your wife has all the power over you and you no longer have any semblance of control in the situation. It feels sudden – everything was going great, and then your wife seems to no longer love you, […]
What Went Wrong and Steps To Make It Right
You need to understand how your marriage got into trouble, how your relationship got disconnected, and how your marriage slid into crisis. Since we don’t get much help in understanding what marriage is about (much less, how to be married), it shouldn’t be a surprise that marriages DO get into trouble. The question is, when […]
Why Even Try?
You may be wondering, “Does it even matter? Should I just let this marriage go? WHY does it matter?” Let’s start with this: It matters! A lot! Why does it matter? Well, the real reason why can vary from person-to-person. It is all about finding YOUR “why”, your big reason for working on it. Here […]
Focused On The Wrong Things
During a marriage crisis most people almost always focus on the wrong things. And in the process, they are not focusing on the right things. Where we focus is what gets our attention. Focus on the wrong things, and the wrong things get our attention… our energy… and our investment. There are three places people […]
Survival Rules For Your Marriage Crisis
Your marriage is in trouble. You know you want to save your relationship, but you aren’t sure how. They followed, on purpose or by accident, “rules” of surviving. Those rules can help you, too. Your first task is to survive. That gives you time to take more action. Those actions are designed to rescue your […]
Finding the Energy – Continuing your Efforts
Working to save a marriage can be tiring when the world is rightside-up. Much less when everything feels upside down! Many people feel pulled in so many questions… but when something is important… as important as marriage… why does it get shifted down? Relegated to the “left over energy,” if there is any? There are […]
Am I the Problem?
Maybe your spouse has been saying, “This is ALL YOUR FAULT!” Or maybe it is just you… wondering… torturing yourself… about whether this marriage crisis is your fault. Are you the problem? So, what is the truth? Are you the problem? Did you cause the problem? Does that even help the problem? Many times, people […]
How to Push Through the Hard Moments
What do you do when you feel like giving up, like nothing you do is making a difference? Or when your spouse says you are trying too hard, or acting strange? Or when you have dragged your spouse to retreats, therapy, workshops… and at every turn, your spouse throws up a wall? What do you […]
The Problem with Changing and Proving I
It’s pretty common to go looking for the “bad guy” in any situation. And even if both of you are in pain and frustrated, you may be wanting to stay. While you may be able to point to things your spouse needs to change, you can probably see that approach is unlikely to get you […]