Many marriages are ruined by 2 people, each wanting to put their fair share into it. “You put in your half, and I put in my half,” seems to be the thought. Sounds good. Fair. Equal. And destined for disaster.
The problem is it doesn’t take long for one or both to say, “You aren’t putting in your ‘fair share.’” Which is quickly followed with, “So, neither will I.”
This is The Accounting Marriage and it is destined for problems.
We often don’t notice what a spouse is putting in (and tend to exaggerate what we are putting in). So we are balancing against fiction.
And really we should always be putting in 100%.