I have just put the phone down after talking to a guy from Colorado who is really struggling to build a deep connection with a woman that he likes.
He’s met this great girl. He digs her. She digs him. But every time they start to get closer, the baggage from his past trips him up.
He has invested time and money in trying to solve his problems, but it has made ZERO difference. I truly wish he had spoken to me sooner. I could have shown him a way forward that really works for guys like him.
Since getting out of a toxic long-term relationship, this guy has been single for the last 2 years. He just can’t seem to attract a woman, let alone maintain a healthy relationship.
When his last relationship ended he decided to take some time out to work on himself.
So he spends the next two years doing just that. He watches stuff on YouTube, does some courses, learns meditation, reads some self-help books. He thinks he is making progress.
Two whole years pass. Then BOOM. Cupid’s dart strikes.
He thinks he’s ready. He thinks he’s done the work. This could be the start of something beautiful.
Instead, he quickly finds himself falling into the same patterns and behaviors that destroyed his last relationship.
He is back to the old him. Needy. Fearful. Full of self-doubt.
“I thought I was getting better,” he tells me. “But all the old shit came back again”.
That work he did? Those two years? The money he spent? WASTED. He barely scratched the surface.
What he really needs to do is to step up and take control.
I’ll level with you – he definitely won’t get there with self-help books that only scratch the surface. He’ll only get there by making the commitment, doing the work, and knowing himself on a deeper level.
Achieving this isn’t easy. It takes hard work and commitment. But it is 100% possible.
How can I be so certain? Because I have helped guy after guy make that step up. It’s what I do.