Over and over, I see the same two Approaches or “modes” killing marriages — all without intention or maliciousness.
The hurt and pain often lead to anger and resentment down the road. But it simply starts in innocence. Most people don’t even know they are operating in these modes.
The first mode is “Pause-Mode,” thinking that you can hit pause while life moves forward. Parenting and career often are reasons to hit the pause button. But there is no Pause Button in marriage.
The second mode is “Me-Mode.” In marriage, you are building a WE. But if you don’t know that, and don’t know what that is, you are likely to get caught in Me-Mode, to the detriment of the marriage.
Both modes develop innocently. And either mode is capable of taking down a marriage. Don’t fall prey to these two modes.