5 Problems Plaguing Your Marriage
There are 5 very typical, and destructive, problems in many marriages. And yes, these are the problems that MANY people report. Yes, they are painful and hurtful. BUT, they are not really the problems. They are the symptoms of the problem. Let’s discuss how you can USE the symptomatic problems to move toward healing the […]
Reverse Psychology Will Never Work
Have you ever noticed how often we want an easy answer? Sometimes, people ask for my help, and I start giving some guidelines. It turns out they didn’t want that. They tell me, “No, can you just give me a couple of tips?” I can give tips on how to boil an egg better, how […]
The Not So Fun Games Couples Play
Games should be fun. But the games we are talking about today are NOT fun. These are patterns of interaction and communication. The design is to get a need met. But behind it is a dysfunction. It may be a lack of clarity in what someone wants or expects. It may be an unwillingness to […]
Is Your Marriage On Life Support?
Is your marriage on life support? You keep watching as the life slowly leaks away from your relationship. Maybe you feel powerless to turn it around. But is it too late? When a marriage gets into trouble, there are 4 distinct levels to the crisis. Here are the 4 levels: 1) Marriage Issues: This comes […]
Two Approaches Killing Your Marriage
Over and over, I see the same two Approaches or “modes” killing marriages — all without intention or maliciousness. The hurt and pain often lead to anger and resentment down the road. But it simply starts in innocence. Most people don’t even know they are operating in these modes. The first mode is “Pause-Mode,” thinking […]
Dealing With Negativity
It happens. In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity. A spouse negative about the marriage. Friends and family negative about your efforts to save your marriage. You negative, well, about everything you are doing (it is easy to slip into self-blame and self-doubt). Negativity comes from several sources: […]
Raise Your Standards to Change Your Life
While some people have certain advantages that others don’t, it doesn’t come down to resources. The truth? You are responsible for your reality, so stop blaming anything else but yourself. Your current reality is a byproduct of what you’ve grown to accept in your life today. So a mere desire to improve your life doesn’t […]
Gratitude During a Marriage Crisis
We as humans are supposed to be filled with gratitude, feeling thankful for those around us. Which may feel like a tall order if your marriage is in the middle of a crisis (or if you are in any sort of crisis for that matter!). What, gratitude when life stinks? In fact, gratitude is even […]
Marriage is Not 50/50!
Many marriages are ruined by 2 people, each wanting to put their fair share into it. “You put in your half, and I put in my half,” seems to be the thought. Sounds good. Fair. Equal. And destined for disaster. The problem is it doesn’t take long for one or both to say, “You aren’t […]
Change Your Mind About Your Situation
When thehits the fan, how will you react? Will you allow your emotions to rule you, or will you make a conscious choice to respond with dignity and respect? We don’t choose what happens in life, but we are fully in control of how we react to it. In this new episode, we talk about […]