Opposites SHOULD Attract
“We’re just not compatible” has been the start of many “we can’t stay together” discussions. But is it true? Is there an issue of compatibility?
The Team Comes Before Winning Individually
Lots of couples act like they are in a competition to win. And they think it is an individual sport, not a team sport! That’s
Is My Marriage Failure Unavoidable?
I get this question often enough to know that you may be wondering, too. Is it really possible to save a marriage, or are you just delaying
The Dark Shadows Limiting Your Marriage
It almost seems redundant, doesn’t it? If you have limited beliefs, they could limit something — say, for example, your marriage. We ALL have limited
The Narcissist Label
The label “Narcissist” gets thrown around far too often without really understanding what narcissism is. Society has trained us to believe that narcissism is a
Two Strategies To Do Today To Save Your Marriage
There are many moving pieces to saving a marriage. And there are many tools you will need, perspectives you need to change, and emotional work
Ways To Rebuild Connection
In this episdoe I show you how to move with your spouse from “Me to We,” even if your spouse is having an affair and/or
3 Creatives Ways To Rebuild Trust
Trust is a prerequisite that must be in place before you can rebuild connection with your spouse. In today's episode, we're going to talk more
Stop The Blame Dance
Are you and your spouse addicted to blame? Do you find yourself pointing your finger toward your spouse, sure that it is really your spouse’s
How To Stop Making Small Issues “Blow Ups”
Slowly, slowly… you are making progress! You keep working on turning your marriage around… and it is working! Maybe you think it isn’t moving fast
It is Slow Until It Hits Hard
I’ve seen it so many times. A marriage is slowly, slowly, slowly moving apart. Then, suddenly, it is ending! Slowly, then all at once. A
Who Wins Does Not Matter
I remember saying to a couple, both claiming they were doing more and working harder for their relationship, “It’s not a competition!” They didn’t much
Love Is Not A Transaction
You try to show love to your spouse. . . and you get nothing in return. You try to let your spouse know how much
The War In Your Mind Is Hurting Your Marriage
There is a war going on. It isn’t between you and your spouse. It is right between your ears! Your brain is at war with
5 Ways Your Pain Keeps You Stuck
James and his wife had been struggling for years. Arguments, fights, and conflicts had cut into their love for each other. While James believed there
Change This First
“Jack” was dancing around my office: pacing, sitting, jumping up, sitting down, pacing. . . . Jack’s wife just revealed that she did not want
Do Not Chase Your Spouse
Do you find yourself chasing after your spouse? Do you keep wondering why your spouse is so cool, distant, aloof, and emotionally unavailable? You may
The Reason Your Spouse Does Not Believe You Will Change
You have arrived at that point. You know you are not doing all you can and being all you can be. It is time for
How To Stop Reacting
It can be habit. You see that look or hear a comment, you hear a raised voice or see something that makes you wonder. And
Is It Time Just Give Up?
I get asked that question all the time: “Is It Time Just Give Up?” Almost always, it is NOT time to throw in the towel
Is Love Important?
A podcast listener (accurately) noted that I don’t talk too much about love. The listener wanted to just get back to the love they had
“I’ll Try” Will Destroy Your Marriage
“I’ll try,” my client said in response to multiple suggestions about actions to take. But each week, the “try” never happened. Just a couple of
5 Myths of Saving Your Marriage
Do you ever start on some new habit you heard about, maybe about the best diet or exercise, only to find that it isn’t true
Expectations Can Wreck Your Marriage
“What can I expect from my spouse?” That was the lead question. Because over and over, her expectations had not been met. “Expectations,” I told
Has Your Wife Given Up? Try These Strategies
There comes a time in lots of struggles in marriage where a spouse will say, “I don’t love you, I will never love you again,
What To Do When Your Wife Resents You
Let’s turn to dealing with your spouse’s resentments. Resentment comes from anger, unresolved. Anger comes from hurt, unresolved and unaddressed. Which leads us back to
I’m Not Happy…
What do you do when a spouse declares, “I’m not happy,” as the reason the marriage has to end? Or how about, “You’re not happy,”
3 Things That Kill A Relationship and 3 That Help
It may not be on purpose. But many couples commit relationship murder. They kill their relationship by accident. So far, I have NEVER had someone
Break Your Agreements!
Yep. Just break your agreements. All of them. No, not your agreement to take out the trashcan, clean the house, bring home the paycheck, pick
“I’ll Do Anything” Is a Recipe For Failure
Desperation. It is never a good guide. Desperation leads you down any and every approach. And in the process, you get nowhere. I know, because
Moving From Desperation To Hope
We’ve all felt that feeling of desperation. Everything seems to be closing in. Life seems to be flying along, out of control, dragging you with
A New Day a New Beginning
We tend to love the “new.” A new outfit, new car, new year, new whatever. It always feels like a fresh start, full of possibilities.
4 Marriage Crisis Mistakes To Avoid
A marriage crisis doesn’t ever start as a crisis. It may start as a deficit in action or understanding, inattention, neglect, or some small altercation.
The Hurt and Blame Dance
Hurt. Blame. Hurt. Blame. The dance goes round and round, each person dancing the steps. That dance isn’t fun. But it certainly seems to be
I’ll Try Anything – The Wrong Plan
Desperation. It is never a good guide. Desperation leads you down any and every approach. And in the process, you get nowhere. I know, because
This Is It, It’s Over
A fight. An affair. An indiscretion. An argument. Some event. Suddenly, someone announces “this is over.” You may point to that event, the moment when
Why It Matters – The Importance of Your Efforts To Save Your Marriage
It matters. Your efforts to save your marriage. They matter. Your desire to work things through, to find a better way for your relationship. It
Why Are We Fighting?
Have you found yourself in the middle of an argument, toe-to-toe with your spouse, with that little part of your brain saying, “why am I
5 Problems Plaguing Your Marriage
There are 5 very typical, and destructive, problems in many marriages. And yes, these are the problems that MANY people report. Yes, they are painful
Reverse Psychology Will Never Work
Have you ever noticed how often we want an easy answer? Sometimes, people ask for my help, and I start giving some guidelines. It turns
The Not So Fun Games Couples Play
Games should be fun. But the games we are talking about today are NOT fun. These are patterns of interaction and communication. The design is
Is Your Marriage On Life Support?
Is your marriage on life support? You keep watching as the life slowly leaks away from your relationship. Maybe you feel powerless to turn it
Two Approaches Killing Your Marriage
Over and over, I see the same two Approaches or “modes” killing marriages — all without intention or maliciousness. The hurt and pain often lead
Dealing With Negativity
It happens. In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity. A spouse negative about the marriage. Friends and family
Raise Your Standards to Change Your Life
While some people have certain advantages that others don’t, it doesn’t come down to resources. The truth? You are responsible for your reality, so stop
Gratitude During a Marriage Crisis
We as humans are supposed to be filled with gratitude, feeling thankful for those around us. Which may feel like a tall order if your
Marriage is Not 50/50!
Many marriages are ruined by 2 people, each wanting to put their fair share into it. “You put in your half, and I put in
Change Your Mind About Your Situation
When thehits the fan, how will you react? Will you allow your emotions to rule you, or will you make a conscious choice to respond
Stop Letting the Past Hurt Your Marriage
It is natural for us to conjure up the past all the time. It is natural. The good and the bad. We all do it.
Compatibility is Not Necessarily Good
“We’re just not compatible” has been the start of many “we can’t stay together” discussions. But is it true? Is there an issue of compatibility?
What If I Cannot Save It?
Two phone calls the same day. Both with the same question: “What if I CAN’T save my marriage?” One had been working at it for
Every Shortcut Has Gotten You Here
For most men, “short-cuts” are the reason why they are in a Marriage crisis. Short Cuts are nothing more than tricks in disguise. And realizing
Get Out of Your Own Way
No matter how determined you may be to change your life or marriage, it only takes hesitation and a lack of ownership to halt any
3 Secrets of People Who Have Saved Their Marriage
I have watched from the sidelines as people work to save their marriage. And it strikes me that there are three secrets people who save
How to Heal Your Wife’s Resentment
Let’s turn to dealing with your spouse’s resentments. Resentment comes from anger, unresolved. Anger comes from hurt, unresolved and unaddressed. Which leads us back to
Can I Make My Wife Do Something?
The conversation starts innocently enough. Someone wants help saving a marriage. They tell me about the disconnection haunting the relationship. They tell me about the
Fighting Versus Solving – Using Conflict
Do you find yourself fighting and fighting, but never making progress? Maybe you even look back and make the painful discovery: you are just repeating
Stop Playing The Victim
To live is to constantly grow and improve, but if you’re blaming anyone else but yourself, you’re not growing. Looking at yourself honestly and taking
Stop Trying To “Fix” It
When the temptation to “fix” a situation fires up in you, STOP. Most men are hard-wired to react to problems with a solution, but that
Eliminating the Power Your Wife Has Over You (Raw)
Like the vast majority of men that are going through a separation or divorce, you feel like your wife has all the power over you
What Went Wrong and Steps To Make It Right
You need to understand how your marriage got into trouble, how your relationship got disconnected, and how your marriage slid into crisis. Since we don’t
Why Even Try?
You may be wondering, “Does it even matter? Should I just let this marriage go? WHY does it matter?” Let’s start with this: It matters!
Focused On The Wrong Things
During a marriage crisis most people almost always focus on the wrong things. And in the process, they are not focusing on the right things.
Survival Rules For Your Marriage Crisis
Your marriage is in trouble. You know you want to save your relationship, but you aren’t sure how. They followed, on purpose or by accident,
Finding the Energy – Continuing your Efforts
Working to save a marriage can be tiring when the world is rightside-up. Much less when everything feels upside down! Many people feel pulled in
Am I the Problem?
Maybe your spouse has been saying, “This is ALL YOUR FAULT!” Or maybe it is just you… wondering… torturing yourself… about whether this marriage crisis
How to Push Through the Hard Moments
What do you do when you feel like giving up, like nothing you do is making a difference? Or when your spouse says you are
The Problem with Changing and Proving I
It’s pretty common to go looking for the “bad guy” in any situation. And even if both of you are in pain and frustrated, you
3 Things YOU Can Do Right Now To Save Your Marriage
There are ways you can approach your marriage and your life, making an instant shift, that could create incredible change. IF you were to do
Dealing With Marital Expectations Gone Bad
Expectations. We all have them. Some, we agree upon. Some, we don’t even know we have (or that our spouse has them). But they can
Calming the Storm with these 4 Practical Strategies
In this episode we talk about four ways that you can practically recharge your internal resources to address your relationship in a way that gives
4 Mindset Shifts To Save Your Marriage
A lot of times, we find ourselves stuck, either stuck in trying to figure out how to reach out and connect with our wife or
Why Do Bad Marriages Happen to Good People?
Have you noticed that and have you noticed how many good sincere loving people end up having not so great marriages. In this episode we
Boundaries For You And Your Relationship
Boundaries can be described as how emotionally close you let people get to you. They are also where you draw the line within a relationship.
What To Do When Your Wife Gives Up On You – 7 Strategies To Win Her Back
There comes a time in lots of struggles in marriage where a spouse will say, “I don’t love you, I will never love you again,
Should I Tell My Separated Wife About My Changes?
In an effort to Save our Marriage and have our wife fall in love with us again, we often make mistakes that cause the opposite
Triggers Anger Frustration and Crazy – What To Do When Your Wife Is Sharing
In this episode we are going to talk about what is really going on behind your wife’s sometimes crazy mood swings and emotional roller coaster
Differences between Feminine and Masculine and What it means to be Masculine
Understanding the differences between the feminine and masculine role is imperative for any Man to truly understand their wife. They will gain deep insight as
4 of the Worst Communication Mistakes
Bad communication is a big contributor to marriage failures. Not communicating correctly especially over time can and will lead to a deterioration in the marriage.
Wake Up! You Come First (Raw)
In this episode, I emphasize the importance of having a vision, one exercise to help you endure the pain more productively, and how to find
When Do You Throw In The Towel?
So even when we grow weary and tired, when there’s that piece of us, it’s still saying is there something more I can do? That’s
EGO Is Not Your Amigo
A big EGO and a healthy relationship do not go hand in glove. Most often, we let our pride or EGO to take over the
Being Responsible For Your Own Confidence
In the beginning of your relationship your wife really respected it and admired you. She saw you as bigger than you actually were. All of
Owning Your Stuff – Taking Responsibility
This podcast is all about taking responsibility for your side of the failure of the marriage. A lot of men really struggle with this because
Restoring the Marriage – What You are Really Up Against
One of the main reasons why marriages fall apart is because people really do not understand the root causes of the failure. They believe that
From the Brink of Divorce to Happily Ever After – The Stages
There are stages to restoring a marriage, especially if the marriage is at rock bottom and heading for divorce. Each stage is imperative and cannot
Control – A Man’s Ultimate Flaw
Control is one of the most common problems in a relationship. Control can very easily demean the integrity of a spouse and make them feel